For years now, I've been accommodating others before myself. It took me forever to realize it, but the money, time & effort I spent on other people, really took a toll on my mental health. I was always saying "Yes" to everything, but never no. Even if it wasn't something I wanted to do.
I've always been the one to be there for events, to spend money on gifts, book up all my spare time & listen to rude, negative conversation I didn't care to hear.
No more.
[Photo/Makeup/Hair: Taryn Scalise]
In the past 6 months, I've really gotten in a selfish, but peaceful state of mind. ☮
I'm finally starting to say no. No to things I don't want to do, no to spending money that I don't want to spend & no to listening & being around rude, negative people.
To anyone out there who feels unhappy - take a step back & ask yourself this ---> What is making you unhappy? What aren't you doing to make yourself happy? And what would make you happy? When you get the answers to all those questions - go take care of it. Start saying yes to your happiness & no to constantly contributing to others to the point it leaves you with nothing.
For me I started asking myself the same questions ^ & it led me to ask more! Why haven't I gone kayaking or hiking all summer? Why don't I have the money to travel? Where is it going? Why am I around these rude, awful people - who only make me feel worse about myself? The problem wasn't others - it was me & my inability to learn how to say no. Finding the root of my problem was a complete game changer.
And when you say no - be honest as to why. Granted, you don't owe anyone an explanation, but if someone haggles you for a reason why you are saying no - just be honest. Nothing infuriates me more than people saying no & making an excuse that's a total lie. Not only are you not being honest to that person, but you're not being honest to yourself & that too will take a toll on your mental health in time.
This world is full bullshitters & bullshit - don't contribute anymore. Can't afford to go out tonight? SAY THAT. Don't want to go out tonight? SAY THAT. Don't want to go because rude, disrespectful people will be there? SAY THAT. Learn to say no & be honest on why you're saying no. It doesn't make you selfish for saying no every once in awhile - it makes you human. Human enough to know when you've had enough. Human enough to know when you need your time for you.
Quote from Pinterest
This revelation of utilizing the word no has come from my own self reflection, however the amazing, Lady Gaga calls 👏 it 👏 out 👏 perfectly 👌👌👌
[Photo/Makeup/Hair: Taryn Scalise]
Some may say I have live selfishly now & they may be right, but I do live happier. I put myself & my happiness first because I don't ever want to fall back in that terrible place where I thought I had a terrible life because I wasn't living it. No more. This is my life & no, I won't apologize for soaking up every minute of it. ✌
Thanks for reading 🖤
XOXOXO
Mrs. Northern Belle
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