At 25 years old, I've seen a lot of hate from females to other females & I admit, sometimes I've been one of those haters myself #guilty đł However, as I'm getting older, wiser (or so I think! đ) ) & my chapters in the book of life evolve, I find myself becoming incredibly selective on my girl tribe. It's a goal of mine to stay focused on being a positive female influence in this world to others & only surrounding myself with others that have the same goal in mind. đ
With all that deep nonsense being said đ - I wanted to share some lessons I've learned when it came to gaining & sometimes losing, members of my tribe.....
//Only vibe with those who understand that life can get busy
Being married, managing a home & working as a girl boss means my life can get pretty out of control! Then when I do finally get some down time, I like to just spend it being a homebody. It's not that I don't want to hangout with my girls, but I'm just exhausted. Over the years, I've found that some of my best of friends aren't even ones that I see all the time! Getchu a tribe that gets it. Gets that a friendship doesn't require 24/7 reassurance in order for it to be a real friendship. And most importantly, get a girl tribe that understands the hustle.
//Different styles, personalities & interests are healthy for creating a solid friendship
Friendships where you agree on everything & are nearly the same person are great, but making friends with females that have different styles, personalities & interests, help you grow as person. I have some friends who are exactly like me & then I have some that are complete opposites! Honestly, it's sometimes a refreshing take & perspective that makes me enjoy their friendship & presence even more!
//Delete anyone from your life that doesn't give you the positive, inspirational, Queen vibes you deserve
Lets be honest - friendships, even good ones, can be exhausting. Choose wisely on who you give your efforts to. Never be afraid to delete people from your life that only surround you with negativity or don't offer you support when you need it - especially if you're always the one to give positive vibes & support in the friendship.
//Quit with the jealously
It's inevitable - you & your friends will NEVER be on the exact same chapter in life - One of you may have just gotten engaged, another having a baby & another of one is single & free as a bird. I've watched so many friendships dissolve over jealousy from one being in a certain place in their life than the other. It's something I admit to being guilty of myself.... It can be very hard to watch other people move into a place in life where you so badly want to be too. However, your time will come, so don't let it ruin the friendships you have over temporary emotions.
//Backstabbers will always be backstabbers
#Sorrynotsorry , but it's the truth. Once a backstabber - always one. If you find yourself getting stabbed in the back, pick up your shit & move on from that friendship because it was never real to begin with. And if that person tries to come back in your life, don't let them. It's okay to forgive them, but forget them as well.
//Hold onto the honest members of your tribe the most
The truth hurts, but that doesn't mean it doesn't need to be said. I have friends to tell me how it is & at first I took it as an insult, but with growth I found that my brutally honest friends, are the best ones that I have. They say what I need to hear because they care.
[Pictured: The phenomenally talented, hardworking, always uplifting, Taryn Scalise - a female I'm proud to call my friend]
Now don't get me wrong - I'm no expert in life, love or friendship by any means, ..but who really is though? But as my life keeps evolving & changing, I'm learning some its biggest lessons & at times, mistakes or areas I can improve on myself. Moral of the story? Find your tribe & love them hard because it's a brutal world out there & we all need someone to confine in. đ Thanks for reading.
XOXOXO
Mrs Northern Belle
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